Why are so many men clueless on how to approach women?
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It strikes my interest seeing so many young men at a complete loss on how to approach girls, not knowing what to say, blundering like awkward adolescents. The abundance of "how to score with women" guides you see everywhere both online and offline gives testimony to this.
I’m not if it’s the fault of the guys for lack of skill, or women who are always throwing off mixed signals.
Tagged with: abundance • adolescents • how to approach girls • mixed signals • testimony • young men
Filed under: how to approach women
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…. because of woman’s strange ways
and her reactions.
For my part, my mother and grandmother both raised me to not approach women or to objectify women or look at a woman sexually. I remember frequently being told that my job was to be chivalrous and not ‘hassle’ women or make them feel uncomfortable. This caused a guilt complex during my teenage years when I naturally started looking at women in that way. This led to emotional confusion for me because I’m a naturally very idealistic person and I started to believe I was a horrible human being for experiencing lust for women.
I was taught not to view having sex with women as a game and to more or less repress those urges. Masturbation was immoral as well. I still feel guilty over it sometimes, so much so that I have given up sexual release outside relationships. I still believe that what I was taught as a child, while extreme, is correct in principle.
It’s a combination of bad advice (some of it well meaning) that they get from both men and women and of hasty generalizations. Any "approach" is going to fail more often than it succeeds. It’s a numbers game. But given limited time and patience, people don’t carefully examine which approaches work more in the long run. They haphazardly try different things, rush to generalizations, and when these generalizations fall apart (as they are likely to), they end up frustrated and confused.
Beats the hell out of me. The abundance of women should enable them to have virtually endless trial and error opportunities to scorec as well, so you would expect them to hit the jack pot eventually, yet they blunder
Women are constantly saying they want a sweet, sensitive man who respects them. Then when we act like a sweet, sensitive man who respects them, they show no interest in us whatsoever and instead opt to go out with some macho guy with sexist tendencies who treats all people around him like dirt and shows absolutely no respect for the girl whatsoever.
Then when we try to act like some macho guy with sexist tendencies who treats all people around him like dirt and shows absolutely no respect for the girl whatsoever, we can’t quite pull it off since we’re genuinely nice people on the inside. And of course, it comes off weird and it makes the girl think we may be a bit creepy/screwed up in the head.
Eventually we give up and end up spending our days ranting about it on Yahoo! Answers to some guy who can’t understand why we act like this.
hi there hi there hows your pie there
Not all men are considered clueless. A major factor is the possibility the man is shy around women.
The man may suffer from low self esteem and he may have been jilted or ignored in the past and he needs to regain his positive attitude.
The man I know is tender and caring and a total geek,but his voice is so soothing, I still have his messages on my phones to listen to….
ahhhh. soooo soothing
Pick up lines rarely work and its better to approach a woman that you already know. TV makes it all look easier than it really is. Approaching someone that you already know from a common place is easier because there’s less tension to begin with.
Who says we women would like to be approached!
Because they don’t all look like you. There’s a little thing called "compensation." You see, the average male population, who are not endowed with steroid induced Marvel comic-type musculature, must rely on mating strategies that are not purely dependent on physical appearance but more so on "beta-male" appeals of personality and intelligence which require mental exercise rather than physical.
I think I’ve seen you on that website http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com. Are you "Lumpy"?
The process of men approaching women is a relatively newfangled phenomena in human social history. Before the modern era, men didn’t approach women whom they were interested in, they approached their paternal guardians (usually their fathers due to the heavily patriarchal nature of those particular societies) and communicated their interests to them. The father would in turn assess and evaluate the various characteristics and qualities of the male over an extended period of time (sometimes years) then finally either submit to the arrangement or tell his daughter’s potential suitor to look else where.
So give the human male another 300 years and he will have adapted fully to the post industrial social arrangement of "how to approach women" in the modern world.
I can only guess that the thought of rejection is what’s putting them off.
Many men were never taught how to approach women. Children are taught to read and write in school. Their parents hopefully teach them right from wrong. Dad or Mom teaches them to drive. Both schools and parents teach sex. But how often does Dad teach his son about approaching/dating women? It is very rare indeed. So, most men have to fumble around on their own. Some learn from their mistakes, some don’t.
The most dangerous thing is when sons learn from their Mothers about dating girls. What do they say? "Billy, be very nice to a girl. Give her flowers and shower her with compliments. Hold the door open for her. Take her to a fancy restaurant and buy her a nice dinner."
These are the very things which turn men into doormats and make them put women on a pedestal. Expensive dinners, flowers, compliments are not the key to real attraction.
Women teaching sons about dating is about like a basketball player going up to Kobe Bryant and saying "How can I guard against you?" He won’t say nor will he even know exactly how to do that. You need to ask those who play (and win) against him.
Trust me… There are more that aren’t. Maybe they should go out and take some lessons. Watch, observe and learn.
they should teach guys at an early age on how to get with the ladies. they dont teach it in high school, but they should.
maybe its because they think if they punch her in the face, she’ll like them.