Okay this may be a little long, but its been destroying me for a while now.
okay about a year and a half ago i started dating this girl. in the beginning this were amazing. we started dating the first day we met, and fell for each other hard within the first week. after a while however, i fell into a group of new friends who partied like crazy. it started off small, and my girlfriend would come every so often. however, as the parties carried on, i became less and less connected with her. i started to go out drinking all the time, leaving her even when she wanted me to stay just so i could get that drink. things started to get worse and i started talking down to her a lot. every time she would try to talk to me about our problems i would get mad, and put her down, and then just find myself loosing control, and keep insulting her. well, it ended up that i broke up with her about 4 months ago. about 10 days later we got back together, but she was hesitant about it because of how i had treated her. well for the first month things went great, until it fell into the old routine again. well…this time she broke up with me. she cried as she did it, and started off saying it was at least for now…i called her later and it seemed like she didn’t care about the break up, but i didn’t seem to realize her friend had actually just been cheering her up, and came off kinda mad…i didn’t insult her, however she still took it as me hurting her more.
anyways, i tried calling her two days after, and she had a new mind set. she was saying that she deserved better, that there’s someone out there better for her, and me…she said i hurt her, and that we couldn’t talk cause she wasn’t ready to, we couldn’t hang out, and i didn’t even know what she was thinking.
she goes to her friend patrick for advice, and it seems that from the outside, hes just been trying to get her to move past me, and when she talks, it seems like patrick has been talking through her.
either way, she came to my house and we had a huge talk. we both cried, and she still seems really hurt. i told her im taking anger management, and since then i also decided to give up drinking and partying. she doesn’t know that yet. but she said that she doesn’t know if we could ever be together again. and saying what she had said the last time we had talked. shes very emotional, and neither of us have had a stronger relationship that what we had. i know i messed up, but i love her and really want to fix myself before we come together again. i said that everything i told her that day i meant, but it would mean nothing if i got back with her, even if she wanted to, without changing things out of fear of hurting her any more. still, she has put up a wall because of the first time we broke up.
i want to talk to her friend patrick about these things, and probably will, im just at a loss. she decided to date some other guy which all she said about him was hes "cool". i don’t know if ill ever get her back, i want to talk to her, but im afraid of being pushy. what should i do?
sorry for how long this is…
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