Comments on: Just started dating Army guy, friends are warning me he’s going to be an Alpha male… is this always true?

By: Nick

Nick — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:55:25 +0000

Y’know, Alpha Males get such a bad press. My definition of an alpha male is someone who is confident (NOT arrogant) and assertive (NOT aggressive). I would say that by default, if you are in the armed forces, you need to have a certain amount of confidence and assertiveness to do the job. I would describe Gandhi as an alpha male, and putting aside your views on loin cloths, you’d probably say he was an all round great guy.

I think what your friends are saying is that all guys in the forces are ‘players’ and ‘manipulative’. As other answers have stated – this is stereo-typing in the extreme. It’s like saying all guys are only after one thing. Even if this is true in the MAJORITY of cases, there will always be exceptions. In my opinion, saying that "you’ll have to listen and do as he says" – well, that’s describing a bully. Plain and simple. A true alpha male would respect women; the stronger the better.

Putting aside whatever characteristics your boyfriend may exhibit, I would give it more time before making such a big decision. Why not wait a while? What’s the rush? If you are frightened he will reject you if you don’t go with him, then honestly he is not the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with anyway.

I don’t mean to get all deep on this, but how do you feel about yourself?

By: Tyeler Unltd.

Tyeler Unltd. — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:55:25 +0000

no it isn’t true i go to a school where the population is 95% military and there are all kinds of crazy stereotypes that aren’t true.

By: Xx_kiwi_xX

Xx_kiwi_xX — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:55:25 +0000

No, that’s so ignorant of them to say that. That’s stereotyping. He could be, but that depends on who he is, not the fact that he was in the army.

By: .:Katie:.

.:*Katie*:. — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:55:25 +0000

My boyfriend is what you would call an alpha male too. He’s a California Highway Patrol officer(state police), and he’s nothing like the bossy type toward me. It’s just how he is with his job and everything. It’s hard to explain…he’s good at everything though. He doesn’t try to boss me around or threaten me in anyway what so ever.

By: gracefull

gracefull — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:55:25 +0000

I would not advise moving in with someone that you know just one month….you truly have no idea who this person is….why the rush? You have much more to lose by moving too quickly than by going slowly and getting to know each other.

Don;t listen to generalities and comparisions…it will only lead you astray.

Give it six months of dating…of going out and enjoying each other.

By: Dave and Rebel G

Dave and Rebel G — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:55:25 +0000

You can not move on post with him if you are not married. Yes, military men like to be in control, but that does not always annotate a violent relationship. You need to be more concerned with whether or not you can live a military life. He will be gone ALOT, you will be alone ALOT, his life and carer will always take priority over anything you want to do. You will move frequently and not always to pleasant places. You have only been together for a month so you really have not had a chance to see military life yet.

By: Journalism S

Journalism S — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:55:25 +0000

Only if by alpha male they mean douche bag…

.. that’s based on a guy i dated who was a marine. he was a douche bag. i don’t think that’s always the case, though. you know your guy better than they do.. you should be able to tell if he fits that stereotype or not. go with your gut.

By: Chicita16

Chicita16 — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:55:25 +0000

Whats an alpha male? My great grandfather was in the army and theres nothing wrong with him.My uncle was in the military or something like that, and theres nothing wrong with him either. And exactly how would they know? Have they dated men who have been in the military?

By: DvsJ

DvsJ — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:55:25 +0000

Well, I’m not a girl, but i am a soldier…I have many married friends in the Army and it seems that most often despite what they say, it’s the owman that runs the house. You gotta think about it from our perspective. We deploy for months, sometimes years at a time. This puts us on crippled ground, cause while we’are away, you are being pursued by all the other sexy fit soldiers in the area. When we are with someone we love, we have to do everything in our power to keep them happy and in love with us. Some men do use intimidation to try to keep their women in check, but once we’re gone to war..Guess what happens! You find someone else who will treat you better and take all our stuff with you when you go. Most of us come home to empty houses and empty bank accounts, while the kids are callin moms new friend daddy. An Army wife has ALL the power, and if she thinks otherwise, she is sadly mistaken. The Army even supports the ex-wife better than they do the soldier. I know people who’s wives have left them for other men while they were gone, and the wife STILL collects an alimony check from his pay for life!

By: early sunsets over mnrovill

early sunsets over mnrovill — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:55:25 +0000

well i can see that everyone has different answeres which may not help you but hears my story. I have a friend who is in training to be a Police officers. He is extemely sweet but has alwasy been the "it has be my woay or no way" type of guy. He is planning to goin the army to…leaves for training for 5 months in march. My mom is also a parallegal for a divorce attorney and says she gets so many women complaning about there controlling police husbands. They say its good in the begining but the longer there in the business, eventually it will start to come into the home and ruin the marriage.