I’m a nice guy, how do I approach women in public???
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I am horrible at picking up women, or at least I think I am horrible… I really never try. I think its mostly I’m afraid of rejection. Any ideas on how to get over that fear??
Tagged with: fear • picking up women • rejection
Filed under: how to approach women
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Get used to rejection and it wont be so bad! Go out in public and approach every girl you see with the anticipation of rejection.
Honestly, when you talk to a new girl in public, you cant appear to be asking her out or too interested. Instead, if she is standing by the bar then go up and get a drink and dont even pay her attention… even turn your back to her a bit. After a second or two, mention something to her that is completely innocent, such as make a comment about a fight you saw in the parking lot… make it something she will want to hear about, a bit funny, but interesting.
When you approach a girl, especially in a bar, she automatically puts up a shield b/c she thinks you’re just trying to sleep with her. If you dont act in the way she expects then it takes her out of her comfort zone and into uncharted territory. If she does mention that you’re just trying to get in her pants, tell her that she’s cute, but not your type. Keep her on her toes and not knowing what to expect!
Get rejected a few times and it will get easier. Really what is the worst that will happen? She will say no and you will go on your way. Not a big deal really. Sure its awkward but everyone feels like that for the most part. Just do it man and you will be in good shape.
Do the best you can so all will be fine.
Getting over rejection is much like getting over your fear of being punched. You’ve got to get punched a few times before you realize it’s not that big of a deal.
I recommend you find a female friend, and have her reject your opening lines. Go back and forth for about thirty minutes. Get used to responding well to rejection and creating new opprotunities out of it.
For every rejection, you should have some kind of follow up. It’ll raise your success exponentially.
But more importantly, you’ll feel more comfortable talking to more and more girls. Truthfully, it’s a numbers game. And a "no" today is not necessarily a "no" tomorrow.
Good Luck!
picking up on women in public almost never works. you need to meet them through a friend or maybe a dating website. Im pretty good at picking up on women and I have come to realize that approaching a woman in public always make you look like a creep. But if you have to try this: "hey there… Im _______. Im sure you busy but I wanted to introduce myself and give you my number. If you ever want to go out and have some fun, give me a call. I’d love to hear from you. (this way there is no rejection, they will either call or not)
We’re all afraid of rejection. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or in denial!
I don’t know how old you are or what your interests are, but I suggest that you don’t try to "pick up" women–at least not those you’ve not already met casually or in passing. Go out and do things. Participate in regularly scheduled activities that will put you in the presence of one or more women and just be friendly. These activities could include working out at the gym, enjoying a BBQ with your friend and his neighbors, attending a soccer game or other sporting event, and church or club activities–anything that will get you around a group that includes women on a semi-regular basis. That way, they’ll already know of you, and you’ll detect whether or not they’re interested in getting to know you better. Besides, the event gives you a subject to bring up in conversation. And if the conversation doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere, well, no harm, no foul.
Seeking to talk to strangers or other women (like those you’d pick up in a bar) just stacks the odds against you, and that will be even more discouraging. Unless you have a GQ look or are incredibly confident and charming, most women of substance aren’t going to feel comfortable enough to accept a date from a complete stranger who extends a "cold" invitation.
I think the key is to act like you are just making small talk. Smile, act a bit confident not too much though. Pick A place where people have to wait, long store line..secretary of state office..haha….so they have plenty of time to make small talk. Or a park, where people are just hangin out. Not in a rush or busy. Don’t be affraid of rejection. Chances are if anyone gives you a cold shoulder. There is one of a few reasons….They are taken……They get attention so often it’s annoying (that wouldent be a great person anyway)…gay…..or you are ugly….haha….but if your average then dont worry! So keep that in mind! If you are a nice guy then they would like you! Otherwise there is a good reason! You sound nice! Good luck!