How to hint (in fiction story) that the girl was abused?
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This girl stumbles upon another girl and sees that she has been physically abused. How would I imply this with certain signs?
How’s this? "I saw the bruises on legs and the burns on her arms. And I understood." Sorry for my ignorance I just want to turn in a good story!
Tagged with: bruises on legs • burns • quot • signs
Filed under: how to get a girl
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What you have is good, but even better, describe the look in her eyes. "Her big (color) eyes were full of sorrow, I could barely stand to see her like that"
Describe her voice, her facial expression, think of how this girl would act. How would she look? How would she feel?
Was she shaking? Trembling? In tears? Trembling in tears? Ready to collapse?
Was she confused? Or sad? Mad?
Did she need a friend? A hug? Someone who understood? Someone to trust in?
Also, this might not apply, but how did the two girls meet? If it’s not important to the story right now, change it so it is, or so that it implies what has previously happened. And you may want to think about when and who abused her, how, why, where…. For example if it was her father, an hour earlier, with a whip, because he was drunk, and in here room, it leaves a different effect than a stranger, or a boyfriend, or her teacher…..
Just picture what you see in your head, and write it down. After, you may want to read it over, and think "If I didn’t know she was abused, would I guess it now?" and do you get the picture you had in mind?
You could say that her clothes had rips in them, which would be a sign of a struggle. Maybe she fought back.
Thats a really good line! Yes I can see that in my mind so its a good line to show that she was abused.
Her eyes were dark as if she had been crying.
She limped when she walked.
When some one would bump into her she shouts ouch.
Honestly, at first sight you can’t usually tell a lot about another person, so this wouldn’t work.
But…the person who said you should "describe her eyes" was completely wrong. First of all, describing someone’s eyes is pretty cliche. Also, in reality, you can’t tell much by someone’s eyes.