How did the unfair tradition of men having to approach women for a date begin?
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I personally think it’s really unfair to us shy guys. Because we’re not comfortable with making the first move. So most of us have to live our whole lives and die as virgins. I’m 23 years old now, and I’ve accepted that I will die a virgin. It’s not because I’m ugly or anything, I’m actually better looking than average. It’s just I’m too shy, and lack the confidence to approach a woman for a date. And a woman would never approach me for a date, so I’m pretty much doomed. And there are lots of other guys out there, who share my fate. So I’m just curious, how did this whole unfair tradition begin anyway?
Tagged with: 23 years • confidence • fate • first move • tradition • virgin • virgins
Filed under: how to approach women
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Life isn’t fair. Dating isn’t fair. In fact, it is one of the must unfair, discriminatory social practices out there. Rarely can logic ever be applied to it. Until you learn to accept that fact, you will be miserable. No woman will give out her email/phone or date an outwardly miserable man.
Example: I want my car to go 1 second faster in the 1/4 mile. I set out a plan to modify the exhaust, fuel injection, heads, cylinders, air intake. After X amount of dollars and time is spent, there is going to be a near 100% guarantee my car WILL go 1 second faster.
I want an awesome girlfriend. So, I will do this, that, and the other thing. (Maybe buy clothes, modify my hair, learn more small talk, work out more…). After all that, there is zero guarantee I’ll find an awesome girlfriend. There is also the possibility I do none of the above and meet the best woman ever while I’m stuffing my face with a stain of curry on my shirt at a global food/cultural festival this weekend.
By men being the more confident of the two genders. But I’ve had a couple of girlfriends, and I have never asked a girl out. Funny eh? They have always been the initiators so far in my life.
It began with Adam.
Suck it up and grow a pair.
I think it’s started in the medieval, when men were sending letters to a girl they had a crush on. It’s in the medieval that the women changed from sex slaves to someone you had to be gentle with.
When clubbing women on the head with a club was banned.
i’m not sure how it started but it only continues because guys keep the tradition alive, perhaps?
I’ll play along…
First of all, women don’t like men to randomly approach them… Usually, if you’re going to go out with someone, it’s someone you know, or someone that friends for family knows. It’s someone you see on a regular basis and have gotten to know through regular meetings…
when males stopped being attractve and still felt entitled. Im male and hate ugly males. attractive males get hit on.
men have wanted to
Stop thinking of it as "approach[ing] a woman for a date". If the situation arises with a woman you’re friends with, ask her if she’d like to go to <wherever> with you. (After 67 years of living, I’ve never asked a stranger for a date, but I’ve never lacked for dates. They’ve been with the same woman for years now …)
Its roots lie in the fact that once pregnant, females need to put much more energy into the reproductive process than males do, and can do so much less frequently than males. Females have thus evolved to be choosier and more patient in selecting a man to allow inside of her. One consequence of this is that females can simply take a passive approach to courtship, waiting for the males to demonstrate their worth to her based on the the characteristics she feels to be of value.
Evolution progresses much more slowly than legal developments, however. Today, men must put just as much energy as women into raising a child, since laws have taken away our natural ability to opt out when we wish. That isn’t entirely a bad thing, except that females still possess an inherent belief that they are much more valuable to the process than males, and so continue to be as demanding as they can get away with.
Men being go getters, aggressors. Way back when the purpose was to find a woman and make a family. The less assertive males were in there mothers kitchen cooking and cleaning.
Men are not expected by all women to be the one to make the first move, Their are girls who will ask guys out and guys who will ask girls out. And like you their are girls who are to shy to ask guys out. I’m to shy to ask guys out, but I got over it. Hang out with more asertive women and if they like you, they’ll probably ask you out, then maybe you won’t grow up to be the 40 year old virgin.
That is the way things are. Sometimes women do ask men for a date. My brother was called once by a girl and she asked him out on a date if I remember right. If not, she asked him to go out with her.
When man wanted women and were made from the ribs of man. Not hard to believe these days now is it?