How can i get a girl to date me without thinking i want her to play mommy to my daughter?
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My daughters mom died in a car accident when she was a baby. Now every girl i start dating ends up breaking up with me because they seem to think i want them to be "mommy" to my daughter? My daughter knows what happened to her mom, and partially understands it. I’m not looking for anyone to replace my daughters mother, more or less to be a friend to her, while we see where our relationship is going? Am i wrong for this?
Tagged with: car accident • mom • mommy • relationship
Filed under: how to get a girl
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Although you are not looking for a new mommy, whomever you date will have to be in a parenting (step parent) role. I think it is important that you DO look for someone who can be a good parent or mother figure. there are plenty of girls out there that would love to be a step mother, I know I took on that role from the first time I met my step daughter she grew up knowing that she had a mother who was a wonderful woman but I was her mom too. Any girl who runs away at the thought of being a mother figure wouldn’t work out in the long run anyway. Make it clear that you come as a package deal and the first and most important girl in your life is your daughter and if any new girl friend can’t handle that she knows where the door is. i hope this helps
Maybe don’t let her meet your daughter until you’ve gotten really serious. By that time, hopefully you will feel comfortable enough to explain to her that you’re not looking for a new mommy, you’re looking for a companion.
Tell your date she already has a nanny.
keep looking, you will find just the right person one day. explain to your lady friends that you dont want a new mummy for your kid.
are you sure they think its cause your looking for a mummy or are you being too full on. some guys i know are just trying too hard, they need to back opff and just let things go at a slower pace.
i think that before you even ask her out on a date let her know that u have a daughter and what happened and explain to her tha ur notlooking for someone to be a mother to ur daughter ur looking for someone to date and spend time with. If she is the right girl for u she will understand your situation.
Well, just what do you mean by "being a friend".
This means you NEVER leave your kid alone with a potential girlfriend. Not even to run to the other room. Either you, or the nanny should always be present.
THE SECOND a father left his kid with me, I immediately started wondering if I was interviewing to be the next nanny.
Be honest up front.
Tell her you have child care and you’re doing fine with her. Tell her what you want is a life partner, not a nanny.
its probably nothing you’re doing but its better to know if these women aren’t mature enough to handle being a stepmother.
Do not, I repeat DO NOT, let them meet your daughter until you are already serious. She doesn’t need to know all these women until you know they are worthy of knowing her. If she were to get attached when she’s already had such a loss…
Alos speaking as a formerly single woman, the ones who wanted me to meet thier kids really soon, I did think this about them. I felt they were trying to get me to fall in love with thier kids and vice versa. And when they started telling me how much their kids liked me it felt like I was being pressured. I love kids and always have but I needed to know how I felt about the dude way before I met the kids.
Relationships are complicated, kids are complicated. Keep things simple, one thing at a time
No, you are not wrong for not wanting someone to take the place of your daughters mother. You should sit down with the girl you are trying to start dating and explain to her that while you are fine with your daughter and her being friends she was born with a mother, which she may not remember, but did have. I think that you are being respectful of your daughter and her feelings since she may also not want that mommy figure to be replaced.