Forgotten how to approach women, help please!!!?

3 Comments

1. David P says:

   August 20, 2009 at 12:45 pm

   Hopefully this will help:

   First of all, don’t be so hard on yourself. After a 3 year relationship, it’s lucky if you can remember who you even are on your own, much less how to approach women.

   Seriously – after 3 years, your identity was "us" not "me"… so cut yourself some slack.

   Now to your question:

   My suggestion is that you just start out simple – super simple – and then build up from there because that way you don’t "jump into the deep end" and risk a huge blow to your ego from trying to do too much too soon and getting some ugly rejection you don’t need right now.

   How? Here’s how: start out with some "fail-safe approaches" and that means if you fail, you’re totally safe. You don’t want to crash and burn and have your ego completely trashed, right?

   For example, if you just walk up to women and ask for their phone numbers, you’re most likely going to be rejected – you’re just some stranger to her.

   So, safe means where you’re not at risk. Ask safe, context-specific questions of a girl you want to approach and here’s some examples:

   You’re at a coffee shop: “I was thinking of trying a new coffee drink – have you tried the mocha espresso super-grande decaf peppermint chai latte here?”

   You’re in the supermarket: “Do you know if they have organic produce at this market?” or "do you know where the apples are"-(you ask her this as she’s picking out apples).

   On the street: “Excuse me, can you tell me what time it is?”

   Safe, safe, safe. No need to worry about being rejected or other problems.

   Now here’s the good news: just that alone will start to get you used to approaching women, and you can "turn up the heat" a little from there if you feel like it.

   Now here’s the really good news: just those simple, safe approaches means you might actually find yourself comfortable and meeting some cool lady or ladies you like and want to date or whatever, right?

   I say forget about trying to run around spouting pick up lines and stupid crapola like that… just relax, have some fun, ask some safe questions, and you’ll be off and running in no time.

   Hope that helps!
2. The Red Raconteur says:

   August 20, 2009 at 12:45 pm

   I don’t know about all girls, but I like guys that are direct. By direct I don’t mean saying "Hey girl, you’re so hot, can I have your number?". Try saying something like "I couldn’t help but notice your [great smile, pretty eyes, beautiful face, etc.] and I wanted to know if you’d like to grab some coffee with me?". I like it when guys are bold enough to just come up and ask me out. No games, just a direct proposal. Good luck. : )

   Answer mine please?
   http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArQ1KoaxZWcJQ3SJU0b6ao_sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090816212853AAArJVx
3. ranger_guy says:

   August 20, 2009 at 12:45 pm

   Have your own life. If you tend to fall into the "friend zone", this is especially important. Girls don’t like guys who have no lives, and who cling to them like plastic wrap. Some girls do like that, but for all the wrong reasons – either they are insecure and needy for attention, or they’re control freaks who has a need for dominating guys. Unless you want to sign up for either of those scenarios, focus filling your time with your own friendships, interest, hobbies and goals.
   Make an impression. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution here. What impresses one girl might make another roll her eyes. Your best bet is to be yourself. Demonstrate a unique skill or talent that’s your proud of, something that sets you apart from the crowd. Not only will this make her feel good about you, but it can boost your confidence, too.
   Flirt. When you see or meet a girl you like, make brief eye contact. Smile. Strike up a casual conversation. Most importantly, relax. The more you talk to girls, the more relaxed you’ll become. Don’t think of her as the girl of your dreams; don’t worry about what will happen if you make a bad joke, or you’ve got something stuck to your teeth. Enjoy interacting with this attractive, friendly girl whose path crossed yours. Live in the moment.
   Talk to her. Tell her what you really enjoy in life, what gets you excited and what gets her excited. Be positive. If you had a bad day, still greet her with pleasure and a big smile. Most importantly, listen.
   Be romantic. The stereotypical icons of romance (roses, candles, chocolate and teddybears) can only go so far. Think about what really gets that special someone excited. Recognize what makes her unique, and find/do things that only they would appreciate. What are her quirky (perhaps secret) interests, obsessions and fantasies? Whenever she’s shopping, talkin, or watching a movie, what makes her eyes light up? Pay attention! Girls easily notice if you still remember things they told you some time ago. Being romantic means acknowledging how special a person is, and that means demonstrating that you know – better than anyone else in the world – what makes her unique.
   Break the touch barrier. There are several ways to touch a girl without being sleazy. Hold her coat while she puts it on. Offer her your hand when she’s stepping on an uneven surface. Hold out your elbow so she can link arms with you as you walk together. Hold out your hand so you can lead her through a crowd. Rub her hands when they’re cold. These are all polite ways to get a little closer to a girl without being creepy. Still, if you see any signs of discomfort, stop! Otherwise, she’ll probably enjoy the affection.
   Compliment her. If you really like the girl, you probably appreciate a lot of thing about her. Why not let her know? If anything is different or new (her hairstyle, nail polish color, shirt) make note of it. The more unique the compliment, the better received it will be, unless she’s shallow. Most girls like being complimented on something that makes them distinct, not something that plenty of other girls have. If you compliment her apperance, try to be original. Better yet, compliment her personality or skills. If you’re not sure what’s good or bad complimenting, read this: Compliment girls
   Make her laugh. Telling jokes or funny stories is a classic way to make a person laugh, but not the only one. Find out which are her favorite comedians, funny movies, or sitcoms. Watch them with her. Be bold and think of some antics that’ll make her laugh. Tell her to dare you to do something, then do it (as long as it’s not illegal, of course). Laughter will come by it self if you’re both realaxed and enjoying each others company.
   Ask her out. Invite her to go somewhere or do something with you – make sure it’s something that you’re both interested in. If you want, show her your world. Bring her somewhere that you feel comfortable and preferably, where you have or do something you’re proud of. Or, express interest in seeing her world. Is she a musician? Ask if you can see her perform. Is she a mathematician? Ask to read her report or thesis. Or, just go out for lunch or a cup of coffe and get to know her better.

   Tips
   Take your time. Don’t be pushy or needy. Girls normally need longer time than boys to develop deeper feelings. Continue courting her by following the steps above, but don’t rush things. If you end up in a relationship with this girl, she’ll always remember how you made her feel when you were just getting to know each other. Make her feel appreciated, not invisible or smothered. Don’t explain your friends immature behaviour, just act mature yourself and she’ll see you as the better man. Don’t tell her dirty jokes, it’s rude. Use your manners.(open doors for her, pull a chair out for her, or the whole "laying your jacket over a puddle thing")Manners make her notice you.
   Play with her (physically). See if she’s ticklish or sensitive to touch. If she says no then tr